The Homogenized Life

It's a good thing for my clients that they don't pay me by the hour. I live a homogenized life. I wouldn't know where to start billing.


Writing for me is like living. Well, it is living. I eat a banana, let the cat lick my nose, type a word, scrape dust bunnies off the floor, write a blog post, type another word...you get the picture. Rarely do I sit at the computer and Just Write--until I get to the revision part, when I'm glued to the keyboard because slashing and burning my own work is just so much fun.


But that first draft? How do people do it? I know there are writers who barrel through pages of material just to get it down. At least, that's what I hear. Who are these people? Is this skill or heredity? I give it a shot it periodically, but I think I'd get better results milking a cow.


My pea-picking way of writing overflows into my work, of course, so I always bill by the project. Want to see me squirm? Watch a client ask me for an hourly rate. It's not possible. There's no way I can tell you how much time I spend on a project because 90% of that time was probably passed watching flies and moving paper around on my desk.


I may not make it as a freelance writer. This method can't be cost-effective over the long run.


On the other hand, I remember my first attempt at copyediting. It took me six hours to do a half-hour job. The agency was shocked, but of course I didn't bill them for that. "It's my on-the-job training," I told them. And in fact I got much faster and now everyone's happy.


Still, I'm not a novice writer. And I've always preferred the homogenized life. Nine-to-five never suited me, even when it was possible for me to do. So maybe difficult billing and jobs that take an eternity are just the price to pay for being able to meander through a job like I would through the botanical gardens.


Working at home. The adventure goes on.


By the way, I just discovered the greatest site. Probably everyone in the world has known about this forever, but in case you don't, here's a link to Wikimedia , where you can get public domain pictures to plaster all over your blog or whatever you're making. Because, in case you were wondering, no, I didn't shoot the milkmaid.